When You're Feeling Stressed, Remember to STOP
Stress. Of all shapes and sizes. From the tiny bruises that we gather each day to the chronic toxic stress that comes with trauma, we all have stress right now. Many among us try to find some humor in the seemingly relentless string of stressors. In the past few weeks in our house we’ve had:
Leaky gutters, leading to a leaking basement window and an insurance claim
Washing machine gasket wear out and leak on the second floor (no insurance claim, just a few runs to Home Depot)
Car engine fail in traffic
Car windows left open in the rain
A new food allergy cropped up
A pup with a double ear infection and some crazy antics to go along with that
All of these are unfortunate and stressful. None are life or death, and all things considered
Still, I spent more time than I’d like to admit grumbling about these stressors or ruminating about how each meant the sky was falling. I've relied upon husband got me giggling about some of it or taking a moment to just STOP.
Sometimes I just need to STOP to laugh, hug, and see the goodness. It could be worse - and it IS for so many people - as we learn to live in a pandemic, layered with economic and political uncertainty. I've got a little more to say about this over on my blog and how taking a moment to STOP can help us see those tiny, daily bruises as temporary while we find the grace to do the next best thing with courage, grace and maybe even a little humor.
Still, I spent more time than I’d like to admit grumbling about these stressors, at least until my husband got me giggling about some of it.
Because, it could be worse as we learn to live in a pandemic, layered with economic and political uncertainty.
Plus, we’re gearing up to go back to school and honestly, that encompasses a lot of new stress.
We all have stress. We all learn to react or respond to stress and to manage it in our own ways. Some are productive and helpful, and some not so much. "It's important to recognize that it’s normal in a situation of great uncertainty and chronic stress to get exhausted and to feel ups and downs, to feel like you’re depleted or experience periods of burnout.” And, a big part of not getting bogged down is "accepting that life is different right now." (Read more on Why Your Serge Capacity Is Depleted - It’s Why You Feel Awful.”)
When I am feeling stressed, I try to STOP, move my body, and notice things like:
STOP: Literally, stop. Think: Where do I feel this in my body. I know my stress lives in very particular places - like my neck and my left hip joint.
TAKE A FEW BREATHS: Inhale, exhale, repeat. Count those breaths. Close your eyes and count them again.
OBSERVE: What is in my control, and what is not? I may still try to control things in both arenas, but naming the difference is often helpful. Or, what emotions am I feeling? Even the big ones like Happy, Sad, Mad, Tired. Lonely. It’s hard to tame those big feelings when we can’t name them.
PROCEED: Do I need to move more? I am one who often gets paralyzed with worry, or I dig my heels in when I am feeling stubbornly resistant, and I refuse to move. Do I need to recruit some helpers - do so something around the house or with work? To listen to me? To give me a hug? To remind me to get over myself and move on? Or do I just need to take a break from whatever is stressing me? Sometimes, giving ourselves grace is just what we need to move ahead into the uncertainty and stress.
Grab a 45-second video to remind you of these four steps here - keep it handy for the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or in need of a break!
