WTH - Structure Edition
YES! Send me tools to help me structure some self care!
Last week I shared a few WTH (ways to keep your head) on both a Zoom call for parents and my Thursday Thoughts. Since then, so much has changed. And so much has stayed the same. We’re all still trying to keep our heads while we do all the things that need to get done from the confines of our homes.
So how are you doing? Right now, how are you? Can you pause for just a moment. Close your eyes. Feel your body and check in.
Over these past 27 days at home, I’ve been testing out structures for my days and weeks, and alas, months. My long term plans are mulling over dinner while sipping my first coffee. I’ve concluded that we are sorting out a new “now” - not new normal. We don’t yet know what a new normal will be and none of us have enough data to even begin considering that (with the exception of possibly our beloved Dr. Fauci.) The rest of need to stay focused on the present moment, with very deliberate time spent looking ahead and titrating our intake of the news.
We need to be with what is NOW.
Let me say, this is extremely challenging - if not painful - for me. Planning is part of my DNA and it’s one of my VIA strengths. Deciding NOT to plan doesn’t seem right nor comforting, but neither does planning that results in pivoting, canceling, clinging, or fretting.
What does bring a bit of comfort is establishing and sticking to predictable routines, having a sense of what we can control, and maintaining positive relationships. Indeed rhythm and productivity are saving the last shreds of my sanity.
What routines and relationships that bring you comfort and structure? What would help you keep your sanity?
Let’s focus on WTH by starting with you. Every flight attendant who welcomes passengers on a plane tells us to secure your mask before helping others. Yes, you have plenty of people who are relying upon you and maybe you are a person who feels compelled to reach out and help where you can.
You’re not going to be much help to others if you are frazzled, emptied, hurting or ill.
Establishing predictable self-care routines that allow for some flexibility gives us an anchor, with enough slack in the line that we can move within a certain radius. Predictable routines also signal our brain that we are safe because our brains and bodies know what’s coming. I have a set of five tasks I do in the first hour of my day. Every day I work out, but it’s not always the same thing at the same time. My brain and body know when I don’t do these things, and when I do! When we can be consistent with our routines we have a sense of control over what’s in our sphere, we give our nervous system a breather from the stressful flight/fight mode.
Cultivating positive and reciprocal relationships help us feel connected and less alone, even while we are physically distant. They can be important places for us to share our worries, fears, or hopes and a sounding board for us to flesh out ideas. They can also provide a ritual or routine that keeps us anchored - sharing a meal with a family member or calling a friend as you take a walk. Maintaining connections - including to our inner voice and heart - helps reassure us we are not alone.
Imagine you have five buckets you to fill each day. It doesn’t matter if you make one long trip to the well to fill all five at once or if you fill each at different points in the day. The point is that you get the job done each day, as best you can. Read on about the five buckets.
I’ll follow by sending you a handy worksheet (visual organizer) to download or print to help you be a little curious about the structures that will support you right now, so that you can give your best to tall the rest!
Consider these five buckets to fill each day:
Self care - something you do intentionally and just for you. This can be anything from a run to meditation to walking the dog all by yourself. Heck, it can be a nap or rest time, too!
Movement - whether you are a teacher now working from home and not clocking 11,000 steps a day or missing out on your weekly pilates class, make time to move each day. A walk or run, an online workout, a once party or a two-minute laugh all can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and burn some calories.
Breathe - If you know me, you know I’m big on breathing. Check out my video library with some practices or check out any of the free apps that help with mindfulness and breathwork. Headspace is even offering some of its services for free.
Think & Learn - Sure, (re-)learning first grade math or 8th grade history might be fine leaning, but leverage this time to learn something new yourself. Maybe you finally complete some continuing ed for work you’ve put off or you find one of the many online courses to dabble in. Or maybe it’s making the deliberate time to read a magazine or book for 10-20 minutes while your kids are doing their work. I’m tidying this routine to my commitment to titrate the news - foregoing my morning news fix and reading novels instead.
Connect - Don’t underestimate to power of a virtual happy hour or texting one or two friends each day to simply say “I’m thinking of you!” If you’re feeling down and need a little inspo, don’t be shy about sharing that with a friend, too. What I love about this time is that people walking around are waving and smiling - or at least appear to be smiling under those masks!
P.S. Watch your email for the link with your WTH Structure Edition Planner It’s coming soon….and a few more giveaways to follow in the weeks to come!
