Can I Hold Space So You Can Let Go?
I posted something short earlier this week on my Facebook page about this article “For the Women Who Hold Too Much.”
I think most of us can relate to feeling that sense of overwhelm when - or if - we stop to pause and explore all the feelings.
“…About lugging the weight of our worlds until our backs are bent until we can’t even see our own palms, our own wants, and needs?”
We, middle-aged females, tend to hold so much for others - literally, metaphorically, energetically. It's hard to set things down or dare I say, not even pick them up?
Often it’s because our roles demand that we pick up things - like our toddler’s toys or the dinner dishes. Or all the household tasks for our aging parents. Or that boss that leaves us and an endless stream of jobs.
Or because picking up and holding other people’s emotional baggage or physical work is a pattern we’ve fallen into.
Or because we do it unconsciously because we like to be in control or we see work that needs to be done.
Whatever the reason, many of us carry things and don’t even realize the weight of what we carry. Then recognizing the circumstances surrounding us and the feelings inhabiting us becomes even more elusive.
It’s so difficult to find the time to slow down, to listen to our hearts and to quiet that inner heckler always telling us to do more. Even if we have experiences that have shown us we CAN do all of that hard work, it can be challenging to summon the courage to define boundaries and say, “Yey, I need some time to myself.”
This is a continual process for me - aligning my priorities and needs with my desire and responsibility to serve others. There are times we need to be there for others and hold things for them, and there are times to say “I need to hold this space for myself.”
I'm thrilled to have two clients right now who are doing the same. It's partially about boundary setting and somewhat about making choices that matter to you. At the heart of things, that's self-care. Having someone to ask you what you really want who has no skin in the game, is liberating. Having someone to brainstorm with you how you can take small, very small, steps to identify and act upon things that bring you joy and purpose is powerful.
I am so fortunate to get to do that with clients.
If you’re a busy and driven person who thinks you might be holding too much of other people's stuff, let’s talk about letting go. I believe that self-care “really means is getting real about what we can—and want to—hold, and what we need to set down” and I’ve seen the transformative power coaching can bring to identify what it is you want to hold on to and what needs to be set down.
Drop me a line here if you’d like to connect. It would be my privilege to hold some space for you to let go.