Slow Right Down

As I write am sitting in one of my favorite bookshops, after having spent a half-hour walking in silence up and down the aisles. I looked a “What to Read Next,” textbooks way beyond my intellectual capacity, local authors, history, children’s books and one that really made me giggle, Adulthood is a Myth.

In a perfect world, I’d have a stack of books and a comfy chair and spend the bulk of my time there. But, well, life. Work. And squirrels in my head.

I don’t think I am alone. Whether your preference would be to read away the day, crush a two-hour run, or paint that painting you’ve been plotting for years. Most of us have those passions and dreams that somehow get squished into the margins of life, it notes to the endnotes. Most of us never get to the endnotes, literally or figuratively.

As I sat down to write, the song “Slow Right Down” by Jeffrey James popped up on my playlist. Like the picture book, it was a message from the universe that I really need to slow right down and not get caught up in all the “shoulds” of adulthood. This was probably all percolating in the background, emerging from a comment shared with me by one of my oldest and dearest friends. We met up yesterday, spur of the moment since I was in her neck of the woods. What was remarkable was that first, she was willing to drop whatever she had going on to meet me. No negotiating time, place, conditions. We just met. And we had cake for breakfast. No rules, no conditions.

The other remarkable thing was that even though we’ve known each other for forty years, we rarely talk or text. We haven’t seen each other in years. But the hugs and conversations were rich with the depth and true listening we shared over countless middle school sleepovers, high school phone calls with that curly cord stretched under or bedroom doors or those afternoons one of us skipped class to drive to the other’s college just to check-in. She lost her dad last year, a man full of sweetness and light, a wry sense of humor and worldly knowledge that rarely gets shared so freely. She said if there was one thing she learned is that we have a “limited engagement” with family and friends and that her current motto is to just make room to enjoy the moment.

Have I told you she is really brilliant?

How simple is that? But me, I struggle with being in the moment. That is precisely why I started a mindfulness practice. It’s why I keep trying every single day. Some days, I suck. Other days, I really feel the impact it has on me.

We have a limited engagement with the people and experiences in our lives - and with ourselves. If we’re caught up in the myths of adulthood and all that is expected of us, we miss what brings us joy, laughter, knowledge.

So I’m taking this day to slow down. I’ve worked every day since mid-January and sheesh, it’s been draining and invigorating. It’s time to slow down and enjoy the limited engagement. One day at a time. One moment at a time.

I hear similar thoughts from clients and people I see out and about. It’s precisely why I offered my Chaos of Calm micro-class last fall that you can now get delivered to your inbox for five days. In just 5-10 minutes a day, you can practice slowing down for your own limited engagement. Details are here - I’d love to help you find a little calm.

If you're local and want to try out some of these micrproactices from the online class and do a bit of yoga, there are still a few spots in the Ease and Steadiness workshop I am holding at the office of Dr. Erin Kinney on March 1st.

If you’re in need of slowing down, I hope you take the time to do so - and if you want a little, help, let me know how I can support you.